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Samedi 4 septembre 2010 à 22:26

Service De Recherche De La Manière La plus Efficace De Déclencher Une Baston Très Rapidement. (SDRDLML+EDDUBTR)

Méthode pour l'instant retenue comme la plus efficace :

Pisser sur la gamine d'un trentenaire rasé, de préférence vêtu d'un treillis.


Certains facteurs peuvent raccourcir temps entre l'arrivée du premier poing dans la gueule et l'ouverture de la braguette
  • Le volume musculaire du papa
  • l'acidité du pipi

A cette technique peuvent s'ajouter quelques variantes (non-officielles).
  • Arroser au passage le treillis de monsieur
  • Le regarder d'un air satisfait
  • Puer et avoir une tête de con (parfois indépendant de votre volonté et parfois dépendant de la volonté de monsieur)
Voir aussi :
Avec le vomi
Technique alternative à celle citée précédement, mais en utilisant du vomi à la place du pipi. Il est conseillé de ne pas s'excuser, et de s'essuyer les mains sur les cheveux de la fille, en effet l'action de vomis peut-être vue comme involontaire. Il faut pour cela préciser vos intentions de provocations.
Baston de groupe
Pour déclencher une baston de groupe, le mieux reste de proférer des insultes racistes à la cantonade dans un lieu public de préférence bondé, de préférence propice au mouvements de foule (dans le métro, ceux qui voudrons le plus vous péter la gueule auront plus de mal à vous frapper alors que dans un jardin public, on n'a pas ce problème)
Liste du vocabulaire et des expressions techniques pour facher le monde.
Petit ~ Ajoute une nuance de mépris dans le propos (à placer avant les insultes de classe 1)
Merdeux (Merdeuse)
salaud (salope)
con(nne)
bâtard
(e)
insultes de classe 1
Connasse
pétasse
grognasse

maracas
insultes de classe 2, à proférer de préférence à la gent féminine, quoique très efficace et frustrante contre la gent masculine.
Trou du cul
tête de cul
sac à merde
tête de haricot
mal baisé
(e)
insultes de classe 3
Gros plein de soupe
caca boudin
bébé cadum électrichien à ta mémère
insulte de classe 4, à proférer si votre adversaire a entre 3 et 8 ans (en dessous, cela devient déloyal, nous ne cautionnons pas ce genre de provocation, sauf si c'est lui qui a commencé. De préférence aller le dire à la maîtresse)
Bizarre
à la con
putain
à placer si vous n'avez rien d'autre à dire

Exemples :

Toi avec ta mentalité de BIZARRE (très violent)
Oh toi et ta putain de mentalité !
Ta mentalité à la con m'emmouscaille !
QUOI ? QUOI ? à prononcer avec un ton de défi, accompagner selon l'humeur d'une poussée peu forte mais énergique sur la poitrine de l'adversaire (de préférence masculin...)

Créez vos insultes grâce aux insultes valises !

Tête de + [partie du corps connotée érotique] / Tête de + [alimentaire]

Exemples :
Tête de seins
Tête de goyave

[Partie érotique du corps] + [forme géométrique]

Exemples :
Nichons carrés
Zizi pointu

Fils/Fille de + [insulte qui colle bien avec]. Même constuction que "Ta mère la / ton père le..."

Exemples :

Fils de ta mère.
Ton père le fils de ta mère.

Voir aussi : http://www.le-site-des-insultes.com

Publié par lairlair

dans Articles rigolos

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